Friday, May 15, 2009

Star Dreck 2009 (Purdy much Spoiler Free but Ranty)

The movie's been bubbling around in my brain since I saw it Monday with Hen Da Ne! guys Andrew and Chris at the Lincolnshire Theater (didn't see it in IMAX due to some unforeseen circumstances), and I gotta say I'm really not angry or rabid at the new film, just kinda Disappointed.

I had some preconceived ideas about what I was going to see, being a JJ Abrams production and all, and it's pretty much what I expected. I know it's getting 99.9% on Rotten Tomatoes, and everyone is getting wet over the movie, but I really don't see how this is a GREAT movie. It's not even a Good movie from a Story/Character standpoint. Yes, it's got great Special Effects (90% of the costs went to extra Lens Flares), but that's really a given in this day and age. Well, Wolverine is an exception with some pretty awful prosetetics on the Blob's neck and some funky de-aging CG on the actor in the end. But since we got nice pretty visuals, can we not expect to have the same for characters and plot?

Without those 2 things, the very foundation of a movie, it's like taking a bite out of a nice juicy apple, only to find a worm in it. Yeah, there may still be good parts that haven't been wormtouched, but the experience as a whole is ruined. Would you take a second bite?

There used to be Summer Blockbusters that had great characters and nice flowing plots: Jaws, Close Encounters, Raiders, OT Star Wars, The Mummy, The Incredibles, The Hulk. But all we get are a bunch of Ultraviolets; a string of action sequences that they try to weave a plot into. If that's all you expect from a film, good for you I guess. But when the filmmakers have characters doing things that wouldn't be in character, or meet other characters just for plot convienence, it's a bad thing. Worse if it rips you out of the movie to think to yourself "WTF?? That's just really crappy writing" And that happened a bunch of times in Star Trek, one really big time on Delta Vega.

I'm not expecting to have a perfect film that has no plot holes, or ties up every loose end, but if there are good memorable characters, and I can quote lines of dialogue, It works for me. (the only bad quote I use is "Meesa" from Jar Jar if I want to play Stupid in chat. :P)

So to sum up, Star Trek 2009 didn't float my boat. Very showy (a given), but filled with lots of plot convienences, really no character, no chance for the hero and audience to breath and reflect (even Die Hard and ST:TWOK did that), and No Disintegrations! (c wut i did thar?) :P

Well, there was one disintegration... I realize I didn't talk about the movie much at all, I'll have to see if this thing can do invisotext...

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